College Toilet Policy |
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CommentsSir, it has come to our attention you are having some difficulties with long lines at ladies restrooms. Men's restroom move efficiently, since men have urinals to relieve themselves. In the old school of thought, females must occupy a stall regardless of needs. This problem has been solved by our New and Improved Female Urinal Model #2890-3B\A. I will send a catalog of all our fine products to you, but let me take this opportunity to describe how our N&I Female Urinal Model 2890-3B\A will solve your problems. This urinal does not require any enclosure or shelter. Running water and a waste line is all that is required. The urinal resembles a long trough with a constant stream of water running down the middle. Females simply straddle the trough to urinate. Several females may use the 2890-3B/A at the same time. That is the N&I feature over the -2A\A model where only two females could use it at once. We have found through research and extensive testing that females wearing pants or shorts should remove them prior to straddling the 2890-3B\A. Ladies in dresses find it more convenient to remove them rather the unpleasantness of dampening their hemlines. Girls wearing short skirts often find raising the garment to their waistline enjoy the quickest relief. The series of 2890 models all have built in sensors that determine when it is not in use. Through our survey feedbacks, we added a fountain feature to the -3B\A model. A water show delights and amuses the passing crowds taking their minds off the practical aspects of the model. Research is continuing on the reasons why increase functional use of the running fountain models has been observed. Whatever the reason, the increase capacity of the 2890-3B\A more than offsets the increased demand observed. We've nearly solved the software coding error that sometimes causes the fountain to start with ladies still straddling the model. Our marketing people like to call it the bidet feature. Our problem has been an underreporting of occurrances to fully determine the root cause. Please feel free to contact me at any time during normal business hours. We can arrange to have a demonstration model delivered in two business days. Sincerely yours, Ian Paul Daley. Wasted Resources,Inc. - Sr. Salesman. Ask for a demostration of our Golden Showers. Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:03 pm MST by I.P. Daley
Mr. Hertz: I have no idea where this college is, or how the administration comes up with these rules, but I must say that this toilet policy doesn't make much sense. At my college, we also had a problem with long lines at the girls' bathroom. To move us through quicker, they instituted the two-at-a-time rule, officially known as the Tandem Urination Imperative. The rule is that if all the toilets are occupied you are required to pee in one of the toilets already in use by another girl. One way to do this is to sit on the other girl's lap facing in the same direction as her. The other girl has to spread her legs really wide apart, and you have to arch your back and lean forward while you pee between her legs. It’s a little tricky for the girl on top to "aim" right while doing this, and in a lot of cases the bottom girl gets her pubic area peed on. This caused delays and wasted toilet paper. In response, the college started an education campaign encouraging us to use the "face-to-face method." In this method, the top girl faces the bottom girl and straddles her lap. Since the bottom girl has to keep her legs spread, it's a little hard for the top girl to balance; therefore, the bottom girl is encouraged to place her hands on the top girl's buttocks for added support. If additional support is needed, the bottom girl should use her mouth to apply suction to the top girl's neck or breasts. One early objection to the two-at-a-time rule was that since the bottom girl starts peeing first, she would usually finish first, but she wouldn't be able to get up until the top girl had finished, thereby causing some delay. The administration commissioned a study by the Physiology Department to find a solution. They discovered that the bottom girl could help the top girl to pee faster, and, therefore finish at the same time. We are now encouraged to do one or more of the following things when peeing in the bottom position: a) help the top girl relax by gently caressing her buttocks, b) rhythmically jostle the top girl up and down to help shake the pee out, or c) reach between the top girl legs and hold her labia majora apart to allow freer passage of pee. After more than a semester of following this policy, I can report that it has indeed shortened the lines for the bathrooms. Besides that, I've found it's a great way to get to know girls that I've seen around campus, but wouldn't otherwise have had a chance to be introduced to. Sure, it took a little getting used to at first, but it has often been said that girls like to go the bathroom in groups, and this is just a natural extension of that tendency. I would encourage you to pass along this information to your college's administration, and ask them to add the Tandem Urination Imperative to their toilet policy. Wed Jan 18, 2006 4:56 pm MST by A Concerned College Girl
Good question, Jason. Apparently, the girls are willing to trade a little of their privacy for shorter lines at the rest rooms. More generally, they put up with such things as inspections as a necessary part of enforcement of the Dress Code. And the girls know if they behave themselves by adhering to all the rules, that such things as being groped and being consensually raped just won't happen. So these consequences, ranging from mildly annoying to very serious, of violating the rules are of little concern to rule-abiding girls. Wed Jan 18, 2006 4:07 pm MST by Dick Hertz
Once again, the college administration has proven itself to be insane in an erotic legalistic Rube Goldberg-esque way. I understand why boys go to school here; but why the heck do the majority of the women? Perhaps a plot line for a future story, Dick? Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:18 pm MST by Jason
I'm not a pee watcher myself, but I admire your ability to tell this aspect in a truly erotic fashion. while some of the rules and their reasons are quite irrational, they are all quite fun. good work! Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:07 pm MST by Anonymous
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